Adam Ruins Zootopia
by hey b0ss47
Summary: Hi, Iam Adam Conover, my job here is to ruin everything, by telling the horrible truth for Zootopia. For example, I'm telling the truth of interspecies relationships to a bunny and a fox. And, oh, looks like he's about to confess, let's go and ruin. Are you coming along? Great, let's go and ruin his evening for them. Rated T for, the 2nd chapter. Humor and Friendship? NxJ and OC?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, anybody that's reading this. My last fanfic was a mistake, considering it was my first one, and it was shitty. I am trying to delete it, and do it again. I didn't know what to do, but I did anyways. Anyways, I had an idea of Adam Ruins Everything in Zootopia, and Im sorry if you end up reading this, because most likely, it's bad! Like real baaaaaaaaaaad!**

It was a good afternoon for Nick , as he had a day off, as for Judy. Well, she had to do arresting for Nick. She was just wondering what Nick was doing. She loved that sly, suave fox. But she was wondering something else. For how long can she keep it in? It was something that bothered her for a long time. But then again, she was good at bottling emo- "YES! 6'o clock. Time to get a leave and my clothes. To Nick's apartment, here we go!" said the happy bunny. She was always happy as, he and Judy moved into an apartment as roommates. She changed and headed out for the day. "Bye Judy!" said the donut loving cop. "Bye Benji! See you tomorrow!" replied Judy.

She got her car's keys and headed out. She hated driving alone though. Nick wasn't there to cheer her up with cheesy jokes. But it did give her some privacy and she was glad that she had it. She put on the bluepaw of her phone and popped whatever song she found on Samsung Milk: Sing For the Moment: By Eminem. She was surprised this song came up as she hasn't sang that song for at least 6 years. But she was happy. It was good at time it came out. She started singing along. "These ideas are nightmares for mice parents. Who's worst fear is a child with dyed fur and likes earrings. Like whatever they say has no bearings, it's so scary in a house that allows no swearing. Uh man, I haven't heard this song since I was in 5th grade. And I didn't even like rap back then. And I still don't." she sang/ said to herself. She finished one or two songs when she got home. She locked the car and went to her apartment room.

She fumbled with key but got it quickly, and opened the door. She got hit with a wave of synthetic and electrical music. Apparently Nick was playing Hotline Miami, (an actual game that exists) and he was in the apartment room of Jacket, the main character. Everytime he's in the room, one of the soundtracks plays, called: Deep Cover. It's supposed to be relaxing, but it gives people headaches , specially Judy. And, to top it off he was playing the song in the speakers, at almost full volume. "GODDAMMIT NICK, TURN THAT THING OFF THIS INSTANT!" Nick got scared and jumped up in his chair and turned around. He was tapping the escape button and he was closing every tab he had. It had the Steam page, then some news page, then _uranium research pages?_ And some music creating Web page, and _**porn?**_ And some, other things that got him turned on, I guess?

"Heyyyyyyy, carrots! It's so good to see you." Said Nick in a shaky and nervous voice. "Ok, 1: you know that, that song gets me headaches, and 2, I didn't know you played video games, 3, I didn't know you made music as well, and 4,…I'm not gonna question the _other_ , things you had on the computer. So, anyways, you had plans with me for today?" Judy asked Nick. "Ok 1, yes, I do know. 2 I do play video games, but I didn't want to show you as it is pretty violent. 3, I do make music, but it's the same type, so you won't like it. 4, I'm glad you didn't question it-" "Yet!" Judy cut him off. "Right? And 5, yes we were going to the park."

Judy got ready and headed out for the day. She came back to the house, exhausted (since they played soccer, and sorry it got cut, the show had to begin soon) "Wow Nick, you can play very well! Phew" They both stayed there silently. Until Judy broke the ice. "So Nick, I know you didn't get that good for yourself, there must be a vixen you want to impress right?" Judy just said the trigger words of every confession starter. "Yeah, I kinda did that for my mother, and well, the person I would love most." He started to get sad and tears started to drop from his eyes. He closed them as he didn't want to cry, but his body said otherwise. "Nick, what are you trying to say? Are you ok?". "… Judy, there is… uhm. I can't say it! There is something I need to tell you!" Nick, being the sly self he _**was,**_ is now crying in front of Judy. His tears were uncontrollable, because of how much one little bunny made him feel after he told her about his childhood in the gondola during the night howler case. He was afraid this day would come, where he would cry in front of somebody, because he promised himself that nobody would get to him. Judy, who, on the other hand, was worried of what Nick was trying to say. "Nick, spit it out, I won't laugh, or….do anything to hurt you. Please, say it, you're worrying me, please!" Judy was now on the same, well, a level below Nick. He just couldn't say it, because of the fears he had. _Come one Nick, there is a women trying to figure out what's wrong, just say it._ _ **Say It**_ _._ _ **SAY IT!**_ "PLEASE NICK, TE-", "I LOVE YOU!"

Those 3 words made silence. Then Nick broke the ice by hugging Judy like if she was his mother, the only hug he reserved for (who, unfortunately, is dead. ) It wasn't your " you're my friend" kind of hug. It was the " I will always love you, for ever, and ever!" kind of hug. He never thought he would give this hug. They parted away, and they both looked into each other's eyes. Well, tried to, both of their eyes had so much tears in them that their vision was blurry. "You do?"

"Yep, he truly does, that's why he-" a mysterious wolf, who broke into their house just spoke up, like if he wanted to be seen. He had a pair of brown glasses, a hairstyle that made his hair be really big, but combed all the way back. He was too familiar, like if he was seen in tv before. He was cut from his sentence short when Nick looked at him with sadness wiped off his face and replaced with confusion and anger. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? AND, How, did you get in? Look, please leave, before I arrest you, I'll let you know I'm a cop, so don't do anything stupid!" Nick was grabbing his gun that he always kept with him, and pushing Judy behind him. "Hey, don't freak out! I'm not here to steal anything, but your time!", he was just familiar, was he from a tv show? "And I got here with teleporting because, well, its my tv show. Hi I am Adam Conover, and this is Adam Ruins Everything!"

(Just imaging the intro in ur mind (if you've seen the show))

"Uhm, Adam ruins _what_? Look, just leave please?" Judy said while pushing the weird wolf out of the house. "Wait, but I didn't even-", Adam, was yet again cut short with a slammed door to the face. Judy turned back at Nick, who's cheeks fur was poofed with the dried tears that were running down his face earlier. "Nick, I,… love you to, you know. But, what if we get rejected? What if, we get fired? What if the city hall doesn't likes interspecies couples?"

"UHM, NO IT DOESN'T!", Adam yelled. Judy opened the door and looked at him with confusion. "Uhm, 1, why don't you leave already, and 2, How do you know, do you work there?", "Uhm 'cause one, it's my job to ruin things for ya, don't you pay attention? Adam Ruins Everything? And 2, no it doesn't. They say they love interspecies couples, but that's what the _city_ , want's you to think. But in reality, it doesn't. It's for their reputation." Judy then looked at Adam with suspicion. "Oh, yeah, give me proof?" Adam, who has a too-innapropiate-of-a-smile-because-of-the-situation smile on his face, was happy to give them proof. "You want proof? I'll give you proof, come're. We'll have to travel back in time, 1944. When the first interspecies couple were made." Adam grabs the door knob to Nick's bedroom. "Uhm, that's my bedroom?", "Welp, no, not for a short time at least." Adam opens the door to the inside of the bedroom. Instead of seeing his bed, he saw a cafeteria filled with animals, from a tiger, to an elephant, having pair of green pants, black boots, and a muscle shirt. _But in black and white?_ "Where are we?", "More like, _**when**_ are we? It's 1944 genius. Back then, female animals weren't allowed to fight, _it's Paw War ll,_ and instead, could help out with janitorial and cooking jobs in the military base _._ The first couple were a tiger named Anderson Woods, and a deer named Abigail "Deerest" Aguirre. They were enemies, as 'nature has it' sure, but they loved each other. Once, Anderson's general caught them making out and reported it, not to the directory of the Military, but instead to the mayor, of Zootopia."

(skit) "Aha! I finally caught you, two, filthy, sexy animals! Ohhh, you're gonna get it when the mayor hears about this! Hahahahah!"

"And the thing is, Anderson was pretty much helping the US in attacks and made their chances of winning, significantly higher. And if he got kicked out, the US were pretty much screwed. So when Raccoon mayor Roosevelt heard it, he actually gave the couple a gift: a wedding ring, already paid. And you know, wedding rings are a total myth of 'love', _buuuut,_ that's for another episode. When Anderson came back to his house after the war, he got married, and shown as an appreciation and definition of Zootopia." When The wolf stopped talking, they exited "the time traveling room" and Judy and Nick were starring to each other. Right before he talked, he checked if his room turned back to normal, and it did. _**Weird**_ , but whatevs. "Wait, we asked for proof that interspecies couples are something everyone hates, then why did you give us the proof, which is the opposite of what you're telling us?", Nick couldn't help, but bear (badumtss) that thought to go against Adam. "Because, that was the version the city hall tells us, of the mayor giving a gift to the couple, but in reality, they _actually did,_ give them gifts. But in a twist. After they got married, they got assassinated by a top C.I.A. agent because the mayor couldn't stand to see one of his best veterans be a symbol of something he hated.

(Skit) *pew, peech, peech. Sound of a silenced gun, but written pretty badly* "Not today, not tomorrow, not ever, ya filthy animals!" *spits on dead corpses*

"So, we can get killed for being in a relationship? That's pretty messed up, but why?" Judy asked Adam. She was pretty terrified of the idea of being killed by the same city she helped. "Well, here's the reason the mayor hates interspecies couples."

COMMERCIAL BREAK

 **Hey guys, or anybody. I know you want to go down in the reviews saying "ohh this doesn't make sense, Adam shouldn't be a wolf, Nick got over his sadness too quick, nanananana!" Look, I get it, it's horrible, but believe me, there's more bad one, and probably are worse than my fanfic, so don't put too much hatred in it please? Anyways, there is like 3 breaks in every episode, so this story is going to be 3 chapters long. I'm sorry if you read this and kill yourself, please forgive me, I'm starting out. Anyways, see Ya guys later!**


	2. The Reason and More

**A/N: Is that how they type it? IDK, anyways, thanks to the literally only 2 people that have read my story. Your reviews was very helpful and a confidence booster. Just so you guys know, if there is some spelling errors, it might be normal, 'cause I'm using Word on a Samsung Galaxy s5 so, yeah that's weird. Also just a quick side note, I don't know if the T might come in this chapter, or the next, or at all. I might just drop it to K, because I guess there nothing inapropiate here… oh! There might be sex included, but that's talking, not the actual action, you know what I mean? And I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I actually drew the front cover myself, all I did was add more details in the nose, and made some ears. But that doesn't matter, enjoy!**

"Ever wonder why? Ever wonder why we use cotton swabs to clean our ears? We do this, even though the instructions in the label says to not do it. It's something we've been doing for a long time, and "cleaning" our ears is bad. It actually pushes some ear wax further into your ears, and can cause some hearing loss and drum damage. We don't need to clean it that badly, but cleaning out the wax is bad. It protects you from bugs….and dirt. And cotton swabs just tend to break our shield. *an oversized bug jumps on Adams body, in victory* "You're mine now Adam, wait don't end it now, no, no, nooooooooo!"

 _ **Commercial Break Over**_

Nick:" Judy, stop doing that please? You leave too quickly without anybody even noticing. And, I know, we are screwed. We love each other, but we're forced not to." Nick, who just realized Judy was gone from the conversation, was trying to talk with Judy. She was there on the balcony of the apartment, looking at the Zity Hall (And yes, that is how you spell it) with sadness. She wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn't form. "I won't stop, and I want to have you with me for life, but it seems like we'll have to be friends. Friends with benefits? Naaaah. More like friends who can't keep their hands to themselves. Wait, what is Adam doing?" Judy and Nick then look at Adam, who was in the kitchen making himself a peanut butter and sardine sandwich. Wait, what?... "Ok, that is weird, anyways look…Adam what are you doing?" Nick got weirded out and now is wondering what he was doing while he waited. "Oh, you know, the usual. I'm just checking your history." Those 5 words made Nick open his eyes like if he got adrenaline, his heart starting beating Wilde-ly (Badum Tss kill me) and he started getting worried sick. "Uhm, Adam, please stop what you're doing. Please mate, I'm begging you, stop!"

Adam started listing out his history out loud, "Steam Greenlight, Daily Mail, uranium _side effects, accidents, how much is it worth, research pages, and protection gear?_ Ok? Poooooooorrrrrrrrrrr….yeah you get the idea." Adam started laughing hysterically, and Nick was mad. Real mad/emberassed because of what Adam revealed to Judy. "So I wasn't crazy when I saw that, pervert!" Adam was now starting to get worried of his action. "Welp, this reminds me of the resonance the mayor hated the interspecies couples. After the news went around about the first interspecies couples, there was an outbreak in a new type of sex couples: 'Mix and match'. This type of couples was a disgrace to mayor Roosevelt, and was the weirdest reports he has ever seen in his life.

He literally laughed at the reports he got from PETA, and other groups. Later, on his final year of being a mayor, he made a law that reads, "If a couple of different species, and most likely, of prey and predator, make a romantic relationship, they shall be put into jail for 4 years. And to be bailed, it would be $100,000.' This was a real struggle to pay back in the day, and worse, after they were released from prison, they were forced to not see that loved one again. And if they did, they went back to jail." Wow, the cruelest thing to do for being in love. Nick then spoke up in confusion, "So, wait hold up, you're telling me when can get arrested for being in love, and we are cops, soooo? Like, do we put our own handcuffs on ourselves or something?" Nick and Judy looked at each other worriedly and they started thinking about what prison will be like. "Well, be glad that's over, because after Harry Pawman took over for the last 5 months of the war, he lifted the ban of interspecies couples, and this was all thanks to Z.I.R.G.: Zootopian Interspecies Relationship Group. They got enough money to hire a lawyer, and won trial by an emotional speech."

Adam surprised both Judy and Nick. So it wasn't illegal to be in a relationship. "So wait? Is it bad, or not?" Judy asked Adam. "Well, no. But there is some things that you guys need to know. How, you know, your 'interaction' will be. Since most interspecies couples have a larger-than-female men, that means an average sized penis could be a large size to a female. This could cause a lot of problems to the female. Just ask my friend, Jonathan Rioz, a professor from The Zootopian University of Health and Beauty." The computer turns on and shows a Lion on the screen. "Hey Adam, and yes, it is true about females having problems. Because the penis could be too big for the female to take in, it could cause some bleeding in the uterus and can be a health hazard. The bleeding will usually be fast, and can kill a women in the first 30 minutes of bleeding. If not treated quickly, it can cause some death, like I said. And if it is treated, it can cause the female to be in a wheelchair for the least being 3 months, and the longest being 2 years. And for knotting, that isn't something to worry about. It will go through the same process of 'normal' relationship mating."

"So we just have to be careful about not going ehem, *deep*?" Nick started blushing for asking that question. "Yes, but also of your instincts. For example, you foxes are known for biting your mate in either on their shoulders or necks. That won't be a good thing to do, as a rabbit doesn't have the thick fur of a vixen. It could cause in death if too much blood withdraws. So the suggestion for mating for you two is for him to wear a muzzle. Unless, if there is a problem. Anything else you guys wanna know?" Adam spoke up before the 2 "couple" could talk. "No that's it. Thanks for the help Jon." *Boop* "Wait, but I don't like wearing a muzzle, because of my childhood memory. Isn't there another way?" Nick asked Adam, as Nick's recently 2nd worst fear is muzzles, (and he's 1st worst fear is losing Judy) "Well, do you love her much? Enough to trust her with it on you?" Adam asked Nick. "Well. Uhm, now that I think about it, it's actually not that bad when we do it. You know carrots…." Nick then looked at Judy, wandering off to space. She was thinking about when they would _actually_ do it. She stopped and Nick qknew exactly what she was thinking about.

(•3) (•-•) -[Don't look at me like that, pervert]

"So, now that you guys wanna be together, do you guys want to be left alone now?" Adam was about to leave, until Nick spoke up. "Uhm, yeah, our babies. How will they be?", "You sure you wanna hear about it?"

 **COMMERCIAL BREAK**

 **Hey, what's up. The next chapter, at least I think, will be really short. I hope you guys have been enjoying the story so far. And it takes a lot of time to come up with these ideas. So, no I wasn't dead when the first chapter came up. Anyways, thanks for reading. Bye!**


	3. Sorry

**A/N: HEY GUYS, IF UR READING THIS, THEN THERE IS 2 THINGS TO TELL U. 1: IS THAT I WROTE YOU LIKE THIS: U. A MESSAGE IS NOT PART OF THE STORY, SO THAT MEANS I CAN WRITE THIS LIKE A TEXT. 2: I AM CURRENTLY WRITING ANOTHER FANFIC CALLED "LOVE". IT'S A STORY ABOUT HOW NICK** _ **REALLY**_ **DECLARED TO JUDY. I'VE ALSO BEEN BUSY WITH FAMILY AND CHRISTMAS. I ALSO HAD TO GET MY PHONES DATA RELOCATED TO ANOTHER PHONE. I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT TRANSFERRING, BUT I DO KNOW OTHER THINGS, SO IT TOOK A COUPLE OF DAYS. IT ALSO TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO PROPERLY SIGN IN TO EVERYTHING LIKE TWITTER AND STUFF. PLUS I HAVE BEEN ACTUALLY PLAYING HOTLINE MIAMI BECAUSE I WANTED TO TRY IT AND IT WAS IN A DISCOUNT IN THE PS STORE. AND FOR SOME REASON MY DATA CORRUPTED IN MY FILES, (I AM STARTING TO SOUND LIKE A COMPLETE BULLSHIT LYING GUY BUT IT IS TRUE). ANYWAYS SORRY IF YOU WERE THINKING THIS WAS THE 3** **RD** **CHAPTER TO ADAM RUINS ZOOTOPIA. SEE YA**


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